They were on a 10-day kick start diet / healthy eating plan, BOOB in France and PEW in England. Off to a flying start, if you can call 30 minutes of munching vegetables at mealtimes, and the results of that,” flying”. Texting each other several times a day about ingredients, conferring on planning and how they were feeling was the thread keeping PEW and BOOB on the path of righteousness. Or at least that’s what they told themselves, good excuse for a virtual chunter, mostly.
Three days in and whilst reviewing what variations on this excessive jaw activity were coming up, it was becoming apparent that certain ingredients were
(a) not liked,
(b) difficult to even find (mostly in France, which is a little late to the healthy eating party, shall we say) and finally …..
(c) What? Really? Another trip to the supermarket? How did I miss that on the last epic shopping list? What can I use instead, or which alternative meal can I switch it with to postpone the inevitable?
This time, prawns were on the hitlist for BOOB – though liked and possible to find – so reason (c) was the catalyst.
BOOB: Going for mackerel tomorrow husband interested in that and haven’t got all the stuff for correct menu so prawns are postponed. Funny sounds like the name of a poem 😉
PEW: I dare you to write the poem
BOOB: I don’t do poetry, prose is more up my street
Thinks – but like the challenge
BOOB: “Prawn Haiku”
Plate of chilli prawns
Mackerel beckons too strong
Prawns are postponed
PEW: “Ode to a Crustacean”
Oh prawn! My prawn!
Why lookest thou so forlorn
Art thou usurped, displaced by fat
By that devilish mackerel on thy plate?
Be not afeared, be not down in heart
For soon, O prawn,
Thou be ripped apart –
Parted body from head and flesh from shell
And then thou shalt meet thy Maker well
Helps to have taught English for many years….
BOOB: “Shrimperik”
A large bag of prawns in the freezer
Soon to be a big chilli pleaser
A mackerel arrived
For attention he vied
Prawn pleaser is now just a teaser
Nowhere near English lessons for a long time…
PEW: with thanks to Ted Hughes
Prawn… Pink…. Lost
Mackerel
Shiny…. Won
Lost soul
Lost heart
Lost
Lost
Shouldn’t that be Lost Sole?
PEW: There once was a shellfish named Dee
Who hoped to be eaten for tea
But she was pipped by a fish
On a barbecue dish
She exclaimed ‘oh why him not me?’
Now she’s just showing off…….